Grow Up

Grow Up is an episode of Angiosperm.

Transcript

 * (Continuing off of the last episode, a large blue cell approaches.)
 * Blue Cell: It is I, Dimensional Cell!
 * Angiosperm: Ah! What do we do? Are you going to teleport me to another dimension or something?
 * Dimensional Cell: Nah, man, you cool.
 * Angiosperm: Oh.
 * Dimensional Cell: I came here from an asteroid near Vorton, the foundation of-
 * Meco: WAIT IS THAT SEAWEED?
 * Angiosperm: No, we're still too small to find seaweed, that's a large flake of algae-
 * Meco: SEAWEED!
 * Angiosperm: Okay, fine, it's "seaweed", if you want me to call it that.
 * (Cruncher swims in.)
 * Cruncher: Ruff, ruff!
 * Tim: Everyone, hide!
 * Dimensional Cell: I come from the foundation of the universe! There is no need for me to-
 * (Cruncher charges through and the four of them hide behind a piece of rubble.)
 * Angiosperm: Why are we hiding, again? I killed one of these guys without breaking a sweat once. And that was BEFORE my growth spurt!
 * Tim: Oh, right, my bad.
 * (Dimensional Cell sticks his proboscis into Cruncher.)
 * Cruncher: Bow wow!
 * Dimensional Cell: I vant to zuck your zlime out of you.
 * (Cruncher's cytoplasm is drained by Dimensional Cell, causing him to deflate.)
 * Dimensional Cell: All in a day's work!
 * Meco: Hey wait, what about that green plant?
 * (A gigantic Sluggy eats it whole.)
 * Meco: Damn Sluggies.
 * Angiosperm: Yum, he sure looks delicious!
 * Meco: ...you have really weird taste, Ang, you know that, right?
 * Angiosperm: I'm a carnivore in a pool of this primal soup or whatever this sh*t is, show some respect.
 * Tim: Wait, carni-vore! It has vore in it! Ha ha!
 * Angiosperm: Yeah, really funny, Timbs. Let's try and get some food that won't get eaten the second we reach it.
 * Dimensional Cell: It's really unlikely we'll find any, in that case.
 * Unknown Cell: What the **** be up, biatches?
 * Angiosperm: Hey, this is a PG-13 show show, so no cursing.
 * Unknown Cell: Come on, I bleeped dat sh*t!
 * Meco: Who are you, anyway?
 * Unknown Cell: Hughmongous. Jimbo Hughmongous.
 * Tim: ...okay?
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: So, we r' lookin' fo' food, huh?
 * Angiosperm: Yes, Lil' Pump, we are looking for food.
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: Sweet, I ludd food. Dat sh*t keeps us alive, afta all.
 * Dimensional Cell: Okay, let's try and find a plant or whatever.
 * (Cut to the five of them reaching a green flake plant.
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: Wow, dat be a big f**kin' plant.
 * Angiosperm: Hey! You weren't censored that time.
 * Meco: On modern television, F-words and even S-words are censored all the time, so I think we're safe.
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: Hey, wait, why tha **** dis show depict brutal murda but therez ain't no shizzle words allowed?
 * Tim: 'Merican public TV laws or whatever.
 * Dimensional Cell: It's not actually a law-
 * Meco: Guys, let's just eat this frickin' plant.
 * Tim: Sounds like a plan, Meconabo.
 * (Meco eats a flake.)
 * Meco: Mm, this is really good!
 * (Tim shoves a bunch into his mouth.)
 * Tim: Yeah, it tastes like heaven!
 * Angiosperm: ...what do I eat?
 * (Dimensional Cell swallows one and licks the stem of the plant for leftovers.)
 * Dimensional Cell: Go kill a guy and eat him or something I dunno.
 * (Jimbo Hughmongous slowly eats a shaving of it.)
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: Yeah, biatches, dis be wack n' all, but i be really tryin' ta find some meat. Dat sh*t be kickass.
 * Angiosperm: Good, you can go on an adventure with me to kill someone and eat their flesh!
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: Good enough.
 * (Cut to the duo swimming to a school of cells.)
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: Maybe I'm just high on dat plant sh*t, but I think I realized why we can't sweabut we can show all dat killin' n' sh*t.
 * Angiosperm: Why is that?
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: Well sh***t, we're all cells right?
 * Angiosperm: Yes, and?
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: Since we're so small, they can show a bunch o' dirtnap n' blood n' sh*t bcuz' o' da fact dat we're two inch amputated leeches.
 * Angiosperm: That actually makes a lot of sense, now that I think about it.
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: Look! I think I found a thug!
 * Angiosperm: Where?
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: Up yo' goddamn ass n' 'round tha corner, pimpo.
 * Angiosperm: ...dang it.
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: Therez plenty o' 'em in plain sight, Greeny Phatom, how tha fuck 'bout we kick their muthaf**kin' asses?
 * Angiosperm: Sounds like a plan.
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: Than therez no time ta lose! Letz kick some butt n' smoke some meat chunks!
 * Angiosperm: Yeah!
 * (Jimbo Hughmongous swims in.)
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: Prepare ta die, yo' hapless cells!
 * (Everyone swims away.)
 * Angiosperm: Yeah, good going, you lunatic.
 * (A sole Shycoop is still left.)
 * Shycoop: Fite me.
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: Alright, than I gotta!
 * (Jimbo Hughmongous bites Shycoop on the rear.)
 * Shycoop: AHAHAHA!
 * (Jimbo Hughmongous sinks his teeth in deeper.)
 * Shycoop: AHHHHHHHH!
 * (Shycoop explodes.)
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: So, what the fuck else can I say except "Yo' goddamn welcome?".
 * Angiosperm: You need to at least trick me into saying "Thank you".
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: Damn, yo' salty, lil' pimp.
 * (Jimbo Hughmongous eats a nugget of flesh.)
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: Dis be tha shit!
 * Angiosperm: Now, don't get mad at me or anything, but may I please have some?
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: Hell nah, thug, I killed da lil' biatch so I git ta smoke her a**hole. Yo' git murda a cell yourself, yo' greedy ass son o' a glock.
 * Angiosperm: Ugh, fine.
 * (Angiosperm wades away from Jimbo Hughmongous.)
 * Angiosperm: Hey, come and get me, predators! I'm ready for all you opaque dick-weeds!
 * (Nothing happens.)
 * Angiosperm: Might as well give up.
 * (A Spiky Shycoop swims in.)
 * Spiky Shycoop: You... hurt... girlfriend!
 * Angiosperm: Oh sh*t... uh... well, technically it was Jimmy there, not me...
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: I ****in' hate yo'.
 * (Angiosperm swims away.)
 * Spiky Shycoop: You... kill... Shycoop!
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: Shycoop? Who the **** in all o' doggz names their mutha****in' kid Shycoop? or did yo' name yo' goddamn biatch dat? I mean, yo' look pretty dumb, so....
 * (Spiky Shycoop transfixes Jimbo Hughmongous with one of his spears.)
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: ...Dis shit isn't actually as uncomfortable as it looks, by da way.
 * (Jimbo Hughmongous explodes into a bloody eruption.)
 * Spiky Shycoop: You... green one!
 * Angiosperm: (Offscreen) He can still see me? What are you, Spider-Man?
 * (Spiky Shycoop swims offscreen. Cut to Angiosperm splashing away.)
 * Angiosperm: I haven't been more terrified since I tasted all the grease on Little Caesars' pizza!
 * (Angiosperm outruns Spiky Shycoop, the latter looking around, unable to find him.)
 * Angiosperm: Phew!
 * (Angiosperm bumps into a large Booster.)
 * Angiosperm: Ow! You bit me!
 * Booster: I don't give a rat's ass.
 * Angiosperm: What comes along goes along, then!
 * (Angiosperm bites Booster from the back.)
 * Booster: Ow! You feisty little bastard!
 * (Angiosperm pokes Booster with one of his spikes, killing him.)
 * Angiosperm: Ooh! A jet!
 * (Angiosperm gets the jet and grows it on his back.)
 * Angiosperm: Wow! Now I can shoot bubbles out of my ass!
 * (Angiosperm squirts bubbles out, and is sent flying across the tide pool.)
 * Angiosperm: WHOA!
 * (Angiosperm returns to where he was, and feasts on the cubes of meat left of Booster.)
 * Angiosperm: ...I don't feel so good.
 * (Angiosperm distends.)
 * Angiosperm: Ugh, growth spurts always make me even hungrier.
 * Meco: Maybe there's a reason why?
 * Angiosperm: Yo, long time no see, Meco!
 * Meco: Nah, it's only been two thousand years, you good.
 * (Squirt swims in.)
 * Squirt: Talking!
 * Angiosperm: Indeed, you are talking.
 * (Squirt snaps his jaws, almost eating Meco.)
 * Angiosperm: Stay back, you fiend!
 * Squirt: Wee?
 * Angiosperm: CHARGE!
 * (Angiosperm lunges at Squirt.)
 * Squirt: You stupid?
 * (Squirt expels noxious clouds.)
 * Angiosperm: (Coughs) Oh gosh.
 * (Angiosperm swims away, where he finds Tim.)
 * Tim: Soooo, how did the fight go?
 * Angiosperm: Dye.
 * Tim: What?
 * Angiosperm: Dye, not die, you're too good of a teammate.
 * Tim: Oh, phew.
 * (Sluggy swims in.)
 * Tim: Ooh, exotic!
 * Angiosperm: I could look at him for ages on end.
 * (A giant Impaler swims in.)
 * Impaler: Beep beep! Outta the way, a**holes!
 * Angiosperm: Swim!
 * (Angiosperm and Tim paddle away in different directions, with Angiosperm bumping into Dimensional Cell.)
 * Dimensional Cell: Sup.
 * Angiosperm: Dimensional! There's a big purple penis that can shoot poison out of his butt that is trying to kill me!
 * Dimensional Cell: (Beat) You trippin', man.
 * Angiosperm: No, seriously! I tried stabbing him, but he shot these fumes out that nearly poisoned me!
 * Dimensional Cell: Leave it to me.
 * Angiosperm: Thanks.
 * (Squirt swims in.)
 * Angiosperm: Well, Pecker, speak of the devil, and he shall appear!
 * Squirt: It's Squirt.
 * Angiosperm: Like that's any better, two fingers.
 * Squirt: ...I don't have any fingers.
 * Angiosperm: You know what, just sic 'em, Dimensions.
 * (Dimensional Cell reveals a spike in his mouth.)
 * Dimensional Cell: Stand back, or be harpooned!
 * Squirt: Fight me, baby blue.
 * (Dimensional Cell charges in, but simply ricochets off of Squirt.)
 * Dimensional Cell: How's about I try that again?
 * (Dimensional Cell swims at an angle, and runs his spike through Squirt.)
 * Squirt: GREER!
 * Dimensional Cell: Yeah, cry it up, dickhead.
 * (Squirt flies apart, leaving a pool of purple cytoplasm.)
 * Dimensional Cell: Not too hard, huh, Ang?
 * Angiosperm: Guess it wasn't. Let's apply his acid squirting thingamajig to us and be done with it.
 * Dimensional Cell: He only has one of them, though.
 * Angiosperm: Whatever, I'm pretty sure it'll apply to both of us, this IS a really convenient show, after all.
 * (The duo swims to the toxin squirter, applying it both of them.)
 * Angiosperm: See? What'd I say.
 * Dimensional Cell: Yeah, guess you're right. I can't eat flesh, though; my nose-mouth thing only allows me to drink blood. I'll try and find a guy to kill, you go eat him.
 * Angiosperm: Catch ya later, I'll buy ya a beer.
 * (Dimensional Cell swims away.)
 * Angiosperm: Ah, some alone time.
 * (A giant Snarf appears.)
 * Snarf: Heh heh.
 * Angiosperm: ...oh sh*t.
 * (The Snarf is spiked through by a spear.)
 * Snarf: There sure is a lot of impaling in this episode, huh?
 * (Snarf explodes into pink blood, with Jimbo Hughmongous, armed with a spear, swimming out.)
 * Angiosperm: (Whispering) Oh sh*t. (Normal) Jim!
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: Hey, yo're Greeny, right?
 * Angiosperm: Angiosperm.
 * Jimbo Hughmongous: Wait, yo' aren't tha dude dat swam away when I was bein' mauled by dat ****in' spiky asshole, r' yo'?
 * Angiosperm: Ah, f**k.
 * (Spiral transition to black.)