Microbial Beginnings

Microbial Beginnings is the first episode of Angiosperm.

Transcript

 * (The episode starts with a meteor falling towards a planet.)
 * Narrator: Our one source of life...
 * (The meteor breaks upon hitting the atmosphere.)
 * Narrator: ...has arrived.
 * (Meteor pieces drop into the sea.)
 * Narrator: But is this what nature hath intended?
 * (The camera follows one speck as it falls in the sea.)
 * Narrator: We shall see...
 * (The particle cracks and Angiosperm swims out.)
 * Angiosperm: Blub blub blub (moans) look, you see these little pathetic fangs coming out of me? Those are my jaws, yes, I can talk, don't view me as a freak show exhibit, okay, muchachos?
 * (Meco splashes by Angiosperm.)
 * Meco: Hello, greeny phantom!
 * Angiosperm: Ugh, thanks a lot, you got primal slime all over me!
 * Meco: Well technically we're all swimming a big primal blob of soup, so...
 * Angiosperm: HEY LOOK ANOTHER METEOR!
 * Meco: Where?
 * (Another meteorite hits the water, than fractures, revealing Tim.)
 * Tim: Yo wussup fellow fricks.
 * Angiosperm: ...is "frick" even a word? Whatever, let's just find some food; if we don't, we're all dead.
 * Meco: Wait, if I don't eat I'll die?
 * Angiosperm: After a while, yeah. Let's try and find some food; are you an herby or a carny?
 * Meco: The hell's an herby? And you mean the Halfling type of carny, right?
 * Tim: (Sigh) I think he means to ask you "Are an herbivore or a carnivore?".
 * Meco: Strictly herbivore, if you can't tell by my little filter mouth thingy.
 * Angiosperm: Alright, Veggietale, let's get you some plant matter to feed on.
 * (Cut to them reaching a gathering of small green plant matter.)
 * Angiosperm: Eat up.
 * Meco: Hail nah I ain't eating that that friggin' algae lookin' crap.
 * Angiosperm: "Friggin" ain't a word, either, I hope you understand that.
 * Meco: Whatever, I'm not eating it, I don't eat bacteria for a living.
 * Angiosperm: Did you just hear a word I told you earlier? If you don't eat, you're gonna die-
 * Tim: Wait, we're cells, right?
 * Meco: Yeah, Timmy Turner, why?
 * Tim: Than how is there plants here? They're made of tissue, and tissue is made of cells, so-
 * Angiosperm: (Sigh) Artistic licenses, Tim, artistic licenses.
 * Meco: What were we doing again?
 * Angiosperm: Eat the damn plants.
 * Meco: Ugh, fine. (Meco eats the plant dots) Hey, this is actually... pretty good!
 * Angiosperm: You see? Don't judge a book by it's cover, whateveryourname is!
 * Meco: Meco.
 * Angiosperm: Mecca?
 * Meco: No.
 * Angiosperm: Mickey?
 * Meco: NO.
 * Angiosperm: ...Morocco?
 * Meco: IT'S MECO!
 * Angiosperm: I know, I'm just messin' with ya.
 * Tim: I'm Tim, by the way.
 * Angiosperm: I think we already know that by now.
 * Tim: Wha? (Flashback to Meco saying, "Yeah, Timmy Turner, why?".) Oh...
 * Angiosperm: It's Angiosperm.
 * Meco: (Meco chuckles a little.)
 * Angiosperm: Huh?
 * Meco: (Meco breaks down laughing.)
 * Angiosperm: WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
 * Meco: AngioSPERM!
 * Angiosperm: Yeah yeah, I get it, but Angiosperm is an actual scientific term for flowering plants-
 * Meco: Wait, you're an herbivore, than? Or a plant person?
 * Angiosperm: No, BIOMECHA, I'm a carnivore.
 * Tim: I'm both!
 * Angiosperm: We didn't ask you to tell us how much more privileged you are than us, Timmy Neutron.
 * Tim: Oh.
 * Angiosperm: I'll try and find some meat, Meco and you stay here, I guess.
 * Meco: Farewell, semen Aang!
 * Angiosperm: (Grumbles) It's Angiosperm.
 * Meco: Him too.
 * (Angiosperm finds a gathering of lumps of flesh.)
 * Angiosperm: Mmm, the bloodstained skin and organs of cells past; my favorite!
 * (Angiosperm munches on the meat wedges. A scream is heard.)
 * Angiosperm: Either someone's shouting or I'm just hearing sh*t.
 * Shad: WHOA!
 * Angiosperm: Oh hey, Crash Bandicook.
 * Goldy: RAAAA!
 * Angiosperm: Stand back, you piss colored predator!
 * (Angiosperm bites Goldy.)
 * Goldy: HISSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
 * (Goldy gets scared, and swims away.)
 * Angiosperm: All in a days work of saving the innocent.
 * (Poker is murdered by Cruncher.)
 * Angiosperm: Dammit.
 * (Angiosperm swims over to Poker's death place.)
 * Angiosperm: Wait, is that a spike?
 * (Angiosperm grabs the spike in his jaw.)
 * Angiosperm: IT IS! I FOUND A SPIKE! I FOUND A-
 * (Angiosperm is mauled away by a Cruncher.)
 * Angiosperm: Crap.
 * (Cut back to Meco and Tim eating a few plants.)
 * Meco: Jesus, Angiosperm has been gone for a while.
 * Tim: Don't say his name in vain!
 * Meco: Wait, you're creationist?
 * Tim: Yeah of course I am, doggo.
 * Meco: Dude, the comet brought you here only one hundred thousand years ago!
 * Tim: Jesus sent it.
 * Meco: Hey, that's actually a really reasonable philosophy.
 * Tim: Yeah. (Tim eats another bit of algae and moans.)
 * Meco: What's wrong?
 * (Tim expands to 1½ his size.)
 * Tim: Ugh, growth spurt.
 * Meco: Hey, consider yourself lucky. I haven't even hit mine yet.
 * (Meco eats two more plant chunks and bloats to 1½ of his size as well.)
 * Meco: Never mind that.
 * (Angiosperm swims in screaming.)
 * Angiosperm: Guys, guys!
 * Meco: What, Ang?
 * Angiosperm: There's a predator attacking us!
 * (Cruncher swims in.)
 * Angiosperm: OH SH*T, IT'S THE PREDATOR!
 * (Cruncher tries eating Meco, but merely pokes him.)
 * Meco: Dude, he's harmless.
 * Angiosperm: YOU'RE FIFTY F**KING MILLIMETERS! I'M STILL A DWARF!
 * Meco: Alright, alright, but you have a spike, so...
 * Angiosperm: BIG MOUTH THERE HAS A... BIG MOUTH! WHAT DO I HAVE OVER HIM?
 * Tim: Fine. (Tim pushes a piece of rubble in front of them.) You will not kill the little one.
 * (Cruncher bites Tim's eye.)
 * Tim: HOLY CRAP, NOT THE EYE! KILL HIM!
 * (Angiosperm swims in an impales Cruncher through the back.)
 * Cruncher: (Barks multiple times) Goddammit.
 * (Cruncher explodes into a mess of pink/purple blood.)
 * Angiosperm: Yay! I slayed the beast.
 * (Angiosperm feeds on the flesh hunks left of Cruncher.)
 * Angiosperm: I'm not feeling so good.
 * Meco: GET DOWN, I THINK HE'S GOING TO EXPLODE.
 * (Angiosperm swells up to 1½, as well.)
 * Angiosperm: Guess I'm on my growth spurt as well.
 * (All three of them laugh.)
 * Tim: Could be worse; you could have gotten on your period.
 * Angiosperm: Yeah no guys don't have those.
 * (A blue glow is seen.)
 * Meco: Wait, who is that?
 * Unknown Cell: Welcome to the second age of our time, young cells.
 * (Fade to black.)